Banter

Warning: gravity outage for maintenance and upgrades

In recent years, there has been much turbulence and turmoil. These difficult times have brought many challenges. We had to adapt and be creative in order to find the best strategy for managing change and pursuing best practices.

We have had to react.

With the gravity outage, the upside to this problem is that at least we know when it is happening and we can plan for it, proactively rather than reactively. The downside will be apparent if we do not follow guidelines.

At midday on Monday 11th April 2022, there will be a gravity outage. It will last for approximately two hours, but it may be a little longer in some areas. This is not only for routine maintenance, but also for some major upgrades in both hardware and software.

You will need to plan and prepare accordingly. Most items, including furniture, tools and other equipment will be subjected to gravity loss. In order to ensure safety and minimal business disruption, you will need to secure all personnel and equipment with rachet straps and bungy cord. Any assets outside your premises can be similarly secured, or if this impractical we recommend the use of sky hooks.

However, there is one benefit from the gravity outage. There will be a 50% reduction in air travel costs during the outage, because of the significant reduction in aviation fuel an aircraft requires, to counter the gravity effect.

During the outage, we would suggest that staff are encouraged to refrain from using the toilets.

As well as the upgrades hardware and software, there will probably be some underwear upgrades too.

Have yourself a happy April the first.

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